| Current mood: |  frustrated |
I am taking the word "rotten" as in "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" very seriously
Becoming Fully Human makes me hate the fact that I have to be a human. It makes me want to reconcile spirituality with religion, to open everyone's eyes and say, "Look at how silly we are!" Just go into a public place and scream, howl, show pure emotion like what I did when I broke my car. I want the world change... but I don't necessarily want to be the person to change it. I wish everything just burned up and started fresh.
Maybe I'm just nervous about my Ryerson audition.
I'm not sure if I believe in reincarnation, but if I do, I would want to come back as a fish of some kind so that I can just swim all day. My purpose is to swim. No free will, no need to destroy or create, just swim. The fact that everything is in the hands of creatures that take everything so damn seriously is kind of freakky. Really freaky.
I hate the fact that I have a forum where I can openly bitch and moan about the educational system, perse, but I still conform to it. I still allow myself to worry about assignments and the marks I get on them because if I don't do well, I won't be able to move onwards. To what? I won't be able to move onwards if I deny the system because the sytem controls the outcome of my life.
Or so it seems.
I need to find a fucking monologue.
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mundane_toilet) wrote,
